


good science

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [198]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: AU where Rick comes back while Beth is pregnant with Morty, Baby Summer - Freeform, Bit of sexual content, Gen, NOT c137, Rick Being an Asshole, Rick Messing With Jerry, Sex Reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-12 21:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15348699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Rick uses the power of science to find out the sex of Beth and Jerry’s new baby... and uses it as an opportunity to fuck with Jerry.





	good science

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU in which Rick returns to Beth while she is pregnant with Morty, so he’s 56 rather than 70 and everyone else is younger too.
> 
> Hope you like it~

Jerry was mad. Not just mad, in fact. He was absolutely furious.

“So you can do it?” Beth asked with tears in her eyes, unable to hide the grin which stretched across her face. Rick nodded apathetically.

“I’m a-a-URP- genius. C-course I can.” Jerry rolled his eyes at his father-in-law’s cockiness and silently prayed to whatever deity was out there for him to fail. He wanted to find out the gender of the baby, of course he did! But he wished they’d just do it the normal way instead of asking Rick. Ever since that crazy scientist had entered their lives four months ago, Beth had never been happier. She had also almost completely forgotten Jerry existed by the looks of it, only ever acknowledging him to snap at him.

What made matters worse was that their daughter, Summer, had taken a strong liking to her grandfather. She was only three years old and already he was teaching her how to roll joints of various interdimensional narcotics amongst other completely illegal things. Jerry wished she’d shared his view on the matter- then they would have had a majority vote and Rick would be out of their lives. Maybe the new baby wouldn’t like him.

Rick reached into one of his lab-coat ‘s pockets and pulled out two small round discs which appeared to be made of white cotton but probably weren’t. “Okay s-sweetie, li-URP- lick this patch and it’ll t-tell you what g-ge-sex the little foetus is.” Beth smiled and reached forward to take the patch Rick extended to her. She didn’t even question it.

“Hold on. How is _licking a patch_ going to tell us what gender the baby is?” Jerry stepped in where Beth wouldn’t. Someone had to. Rick fixed him with a mildly irritated scowl.

“Don’t question it, Jerry,” He heavily enunciated the word ‘Jerry’ in a mocking tone, much to the other’s displeasure, “I-it’s all good science. You-URP- you wouldn’t understand.” 

“Jerry, stop it! We’re about to find out whether we have a son or a daughter and you’re criticising it? Dad, don’t listen to him. He’s an idiot.” Beth glared at her husband openly while Rick smirked.

“I know,” He replied to Beth drily, “Jerry, you gotta lick t-the -URP- other patch. For p-pheremones and hormones and shit.” Jerry looked at the other patch with distaste. Knowing Rick, it probably contained some kind of poison or hallucinogenic drug.

“There’s no way I’m touching that thing.” Jerry responded, arms folded and eyes narrowed. Before Beth could retort, Rick smirked again at him and stated,

“Don’t be such a pussy J-Jerry.” That was enough to drive Jerry over the edge. He wasn’t just going to stand by and be called a pussy by a 56-year-old man. Without hesitation, he snatched the patch from Rick’s hand and licked it hard. Beth dropped her anger for a moment in her excitement, and quickly followed suit.

“Hey... This tastes pretty good!” Jerry exclaimed with a pleasantly surprised smile. Beth frowned at him.

“What are you talking about? Mine doesn’t taste of anything- oh my God it’s changing colour!” Her eyes were locked on the patch as colours swirled around its surface before finally settling. Red background with four orange dots arranged in a square shape in the centre, “What does that mean, Dad?” Rick glanced at it briefly.

“It’s a boy.” He said with a shrug. Beth screamed in delight and hugged Jerry. She probably would have reacted in the same way had Rick said her child was a Gromflomite. Jerry awkwardly hugged her back, although he too was excited about the prospect of having a son.

Once the excitement had somewhat subsided, Beth looked over at Jerry’s patch and noticed nothing had happened.

“Wait, Dad... What was the point of Jerry’s patch?” At this point Jerry noticed it too.

“Hey, yeah! Nothing happened!” Rick’s mouth twitched as he watched them.

“Oh, that? I-it’s just a c-cotton pad covered in piss. I wanted to -URP- fuck with Jerry a little.” Jerry screeched and started to rub at his tongue violently while Beth just looked at him sceptically.

“You’re... kidding... right, Dad?” She said slowly, as if she wasn’t really sure what to believe herself (or maybe she just didn’t want to say the wrong thing in fear of him leaving her again). Finally Rick allowed himself to laugh openly.

“Yep! Shit, Jerry, you’re so fucking d-dumb. It’s not piss!” Rick started laughing hysterically as he took a swig of his flask.

“Really?” Jerry asked nervously, half-offended and half-afraid it might be something worse.

“It’s actually Traflorkian j-URP- jizz.” Suddenly the humour was gone from Rick’s voice, and he looked Jerry dead in the eyes with the utmost seriousness. 

Jerry ran off screaming in the direction of the bathroom, presumably to wash his mouth out. Beth moved as if to protest her father, but her abandonment issues prevented her from speaking out. Rick just shrugged and wandered off to the garage, his job done.

Beth looked at her own patch again and smiled at the colours which signified her son. Maybe she’d call him Morty.

**Author's Note:**

> I love writing R & M fics. It was nice to write for a different fandom to my usual ones (SP and LotF).
> 
> Prompt- Interesting way to reveal gender of the baby.
> 
> Sorry, I know it should say ‘sex’ not ‘gender’. Oh, and Jerry using gender instead is just because I feel like he’s that kind of guy. 
> 
> Original Number- 349.


End file.
